science is dead

Science Is Dead

Recently there was some controversy when the Bush Administration

accidentally left off evolution from a list of subjects eligible for

government grants--whoops! But Mark Noonan at Blogs for Bush has an

even better suggestion: That we just leave off science altogether. The

debate between Evolution and Intelligent Design, he says, "got me

thinking, and today ii [sic] occured [sic] to me: science is dead. We

have reached the end of the Age of Science." I must say I haven't been

so happy since we reached the End of History. What is especially great

about Noonan's theory that science is dead is that he doesn't have to

conduct any experiments or present any evidence to prove science is

dead because science would actually have to be alive to do that.

Noonan is very skeptical about the whole idea of scientific "truth"

anyway. He believes that what killed science was that "its strongest

advocates stopped telling the truth." He cites such hoaxes as the

Piltdown Man and Haeckel's Embryo's (which he misspells but only a

pedantic scientific type would worry about trivial inaccuracies like

that) as evidence that some scientists are always trying to pull the

wool over people's eyes while the rest are too gullible to realize it.

Of course, these two hoaxes would not have existed if scientists

hadn't been fooled by the biggest hoax of them all, Darwinism, which

according to a new documentary is responsible for the Holocaust. And

we've just discovered that scientists have been lying to us for years

about Pluto being a planet.

Not only are scientists responsible for bad things like the Holocaust,

they are always trying to scare us about bad things that don't exist

like global warming. Frankly, it's a wonder scientists have any

credibility at all considering how they are always trying to terrify

us with alerts of threats that don't pan out and lying about things

that turn out not to exist. Only a scientific dead-ender could think

that anything scientists say should be believed. I'm glad the Bush

Administration has done something about it, fighting the War on

Science with the same fervor it has brought to the War on Terror and

the War in Iraq and all of the other wars it has declared.

Now that two of my least favorite subjects in school, science and

history, are dead, I'm hoping that the Bush Administration will

redouble its efforts to kill off two other subjects I didn't much care

for, Math and Geography. While important strides have been made, I

still think more can be done to send Math and Geography to the dustbin

of History, which, course, has itself been sent to the dustbin of . .

. something else, I guess. I'm not ready to declare victory until our

schools are teaching only two subjects: Religion and Gym.

Noonan points out, in fact, that taking religion out of the schools

may have been what caused the demise of science. "Why did science

stray from the path of truth?" he writes. "I think it is because we

ceased educating the men of science with a knowledge of religion." He

goes on to say that science died when it "became a narrowly forcused

[sic] search for something immediately practical." This concern for

practicality, he says, led to Marxism.

Now I suppose a few namby-pamby intellectuals will try to point out

that scientists are responsible for a lot of practical things we

enjoy, like decaffeinated coffee, Velcro and spell-checkers. Like Al

Gore, they will probably try to take credit for inventing the

Internet, too. But we wouldn't have those things unless God wanted us

to have them. They, are, in short, modern miracles. I think that even

if God decides not to give us anymore "scientific" miracles, when you

weigh all the bad that science has been responsible for (the

Holocaust, Marxism, cable television) against the few modern

conveniences we enjoy, I think you'll agree that the death of science

is a good thing and we should all thank President Bush for helping to

kill it off.

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Jon Swift, Evolution, Darwin, Intelligent Design, Pluto, Religion,

Education, History, Global Warming, Terrorism, Bush, Politics,

Environment, Climate Change, Earth, Science, Beltway Traffic Jam

Posted by Jon Swift at 8/24/2006 06:22:00 PM